As we reach the last day of 2016, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what a year it has been and also my goals for the coming year.
To say 2016 has been a year of change is an understatement. This has been both for the good and bad. For me this year started as a nightmare as I lost my younger brother in January – two weeks after his 18th birthday and on the day of my partner’s birthday. The thing that hurts the most about his death is that he wasn’t sick but died from a stab wound to the neck.
I still play back in my mind the moment my father broke the news to me. Part of me also died when my brother died and I honestly didnt believe there was anything that could take place in 2016 that would make me feel better about this year but God had other plans. About a month or so after my brother’s death, I fond out I was pregnant.
I had not been trying and it wasn’t something I thought would happen so soon but I took it as a sign from God that although he has taken away something so valuable to me, he’s also given me something just as valuable and taken me to the next stage of my life. My brother is irreplaceable but my daughter’s birth has helped me find joy again.
To me 2016 feels like the shortest year of my life. It doesn’t feel like I’ve gone through the full 12 months at all. My only memories of 2016 has been of a death and birth and I’m so grateful to God for both.
I’m grateful that I was blessed enough to have had my brother for 18 years, although I still feel that it wasn’t near to enough time here with him. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the time we spent together and the memories I have of him which I will treasure in my heart until we meet again. I’m also grateful and thankful to God for choosing me, as unworthy as I am, and entrusting to me such a responsibility as to be someone’s mother. To experience the miracle of childbirth and the joys of motherhood.
I’m also grateful for life in general. Life isprecious and so so short. We often think we have time – time to follow that dream, time to travel, time to do that course at university, time to say I love you to loved ones. The actual truth is that our time here on earth is limited so there’s no point in putting off things that we want to do or achieve or putting off our time with family and friends, thinking there will be a next time.
I don’t want to set resolutions for the new year. Instead I want to live each moment of the rest of my life as deliberately as I can. I want to deievrately love, laugh, enjoy my family and all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and those which are awaiting me in the future. I want to stop and smell the roses more often. I want to take more pictures and make more memories. I want to travel with my daughter and teach her what I know. I want to be the best partner to my other half and the best friend to my friends. I want to strive to be the best version of me everyday and to praise God more, in any and every circumstances.
To everyone out there I wish a prosperous, healthy and happy new year, filled with Love, joy, patience, compassion, success and good healthy because we are all here but only for a limited time so as cliche as it may sound, we need to grab it by the horns and live it to the fullest!